ich bin smokers

[∬:Rolf Blauvelt]

Rolf was happy after his training exercise. It didn't go well, but he found a traitor and had him killed. He walked into the bar, ordered a Stroh 80, and pulled out some smokes. The bartender saw him, and yelled, "Hey! No smoking in my bar!"

"Whed did this happen, herr bartender? I've always been able to smoke."

"The bar across the street burned down thanks to a drunk smoker. Now, I don't let anyone come in with a pack. Put em here or I'll shoot you" By that time, Rolf had gotten very angry. He took a long drink from the bottle of Stroh, got up, pulled out his Luger, and said, "You're gonna kill me? I'd rethink that if I were you."

[Nikki Mond]

Nikki walked into the bar looking to have a good time, but what he saw was an officer pointing a luger at the bartender. Putting one hand on the handle of his sheathed issue knife, he walked over to the two men.
"Whats the problem hear sir? If you want, I could make this bartender dissapear without a trace?" Nikki offered, giving a wink.

[∬:Rolf Blauvelt]

In all his rage and anger, given to him by his forefathers, Rolf barely noticed the Scharfuhrer inquiring about the reason he was about to blast the brains out of the bartender, who had personally wet his pants at the sight of angering an officer of the Third Reich. When he did realise that the Scharfuhrer was talking to him, Rolf put the Luger down, and replied in a very calm tone of voice, "Hello. This pitiful excuse of 'man' of Germany has banned smoking in this most unholy of places. I am angered at this, since this is the only place I can smoke without getting blown up. Were you here when the engineering bunkers blew up? That fire was caused by my cigarette. Here, there is no dangerous new jet fuel or static electric engines to catch on fire. There's just stone and steel. SO he won't let me smoke. Aas to your request of making him disappear, that won't be necessary, if he decides to do the right thing." Rolf looked over the bar, and saw that he had fainted. He pulled out another smoke, and lit it, while throwing another one at the Scharfuhrer.

[Rolf Reinard]

Rolf Reinard walked into the bar and smelt somehing disturbing "Is that piss i smell?!?, Bartender did you piss yourself???" "HEY Rolf wahts up!, Hey nikki =/"said Reinard. He took his kar 98 off his back and reloaded it, he aimed toward a bottle of vodka the bartender had on the shelf He shot it, it blew up shattering glass everywhere "hmm it seems to working fine, it wasnt working earlier, HMMM" Reinard said, "bartender! give me a glass of stroh 80".

Reinard sat and started drinkign the Stroh 80. "so whats new rolf?, Merry christmas!" he handed rolf a little wrapped up present, "hope oyu like it! its a american colt 45. i picked it off a dead american the other day".

[∬:Rolf Blauvelt]

Rolf saw Reinard walking in to the bar. At the sound of the vodka glass shattering, Rolf put his Luger away, and snarled at the bartender, "Don't let this happen again, or else." The bartender nodded furiously, and frantically ran to take down the no smoking sign, and change his pants. "Merry Christmas Reinard. I didn't realise it was the birth of Jesus today. Thank you for the Colt .45. I've been looking for one of these for a while now. It's an A1, you never see these anymore. All A2s and 3s now. I feel like an ass not getting you anything. Anyway, the bartender wouldn't let me smoke, but we fixed that. All drinks on me tonight!" The Stroh 80s came to the table, and Rolf drank all his in one gulp.

[franzwalter]

Franz charged in.He saw Reinard and Rolf."Hey Reinard!Hey Rolf!"Sniff Sniff."Meh I see the bartender couldnt hold it in for a minute."Franz sat down and took out a smoke.He felt around his shirt pockets."Ey you guys got a light?"

[∬:Rolf Blauvelt]

OCC: Guess whos back back bakc, rolf is back back back!

BIC: Rolf saw Franz Walters walk in, cheery as could be. Rolf smiled and tossed him his lighter, a zippo taken off a dead Canadian at Dunkirk. "Hey Franz. Why are you so happy today? No he couldn't he turned out to be a scared Russian when faced with a simple life or death situation. You should have seen it. It was funny! Get a Stroh for Franz here, and make it snappy!" Rolf downed his second stroh 80, barely holding a coughing fit. He then got up and started singing the Horst Wessell song. "Come on. Everybody sing!"

[franzwalter]

Franz lit his smoke and tossed the Zippo back."Thanks for the Stroh.Damn bartender what the hell is your problem?You need to work on holding your liquid in.What if you were kissing a girl and all of a sudden her dress gets wet?"After that Franz started singing with his fellow soldier.

[franzwalter]

Franz stopped in the middle of the song."By the way,Don't worry about that bartender.You can't get a girl!"Franz laughed and asked "How was that for a joke guys?"

[∬:Rolf Blauvelt]

(sorry got new comp and had to find a way to get here)
After Rolf was finished singing with Franz, he sat down again, and said, "That's a good one Franz." Chugging the whole bottle down, Rolf said,"Hey. I gots un. Wts wed and spells like bluuee paint? WED PAINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Rolf thought, deep down inside himself, that he might be drunk. Ah who cares. We got some offensive in the morning. I need to relax before I get shooting. "Hey geys. Did ya ear abouts da new ossenfise on same meech? Dem Yankees r tryin to get us da slip. But we gots em. We sendin in all da tents an booms." And then Rolf threw up.

Translation, since u cant understand a drunk guy:

Hey. I gots un. Wts wed and spells like bluuee paint? WED PAINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hey. I have one. Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!

Hey geys. Did ya ear abouts da new ossenfise on same meech? Dem Yankees r tryin to get us da slip. But we gots em. We sendin in all da tents an booms.
Hey guys. Did you hear about the new offensive on some beach? The Yankees are trying to give us the slip. But we have them. We're sending in all the tanks and bombs.

[franzwalter]

Franz looked at Rolf."Really?I didn't hear.Ill go check it out.You need to get to the barracks your drunk as a wolf hyped up on drugs.Wait-Wha?"

[hanswagemuller]

Hans was walking down a street, when he decided that he needed a drink. "Karl, werden wir einige Drinks." "Sicher, klingt wie eine Idee, Lets go."

Karl pushed the door open for Hans. It wasn't until they got in, did they notice a wierd smell. Karl sniffed the air, "Nun, wir haben ein wildes Tier in hier nicht zu." Karl said as he turned to Hans. Hans laughed at the comment as they walked through the smoke filled room. The smoke started to make Hans feel weird since it had been four days since he last smoked. He pulled out his pack of cigarettes, and pulled out two smokes. "Hier Karl, sie wollen." "So, nach einem halben Jahr von Wissen verbinden können wir nun lesen einander Erinnerung. Sehr Smart der sie, ich wünschte, ich könnte Ihnen lesen." Karl said, as he took a cigarette, and put in his mouth as Hans stuck his lighter forward and lit Karl's cigarette. Hans drew the lighter back to his own and took a puff. He blew the smoke out as a waitress walked toward them and asked for their orders. "Ich'll, haben einige Bier, und Karl wird ein Bier auch." After, hearing this the waitress went off to the bar to get their orders.


Translations
"Karl, werden wir einige Drinks"
"Karl, shall we get some drinks"

"Sicher, klingt wie eine Idee, Lets go."
"Sure, sounds like an idea, lets go"

"Nun, wir haben ein wildes Tier in hier nicht zu."
"Well, we have a wild animal in here don't we."

"Hier Karl, sie wollen."
"Here Karl, you want one."

"So, nach einem halben Jahr von Wissen verbinden können wir nun lesen einander Erinnerung. Sehr Smart der sie, ich wünschte, ich könnte Ihnen lesen."
"So, after half a year of knowing eachother we can now read eachother's minds. Very smart of you, I wish I could read yours."

Ich'll, haben einige Bier, und Karl wird ein Bier auch.
"I'll, have some beer, and Karl will have a beer also."

[Erich Stolz]

Erich was out on leave in the city next to their base, when the cold wind started down the street. "Ah, ich hasse den kalten, Gott kann es nicht nur nicht geschehen." Erich said aloud. A woman stopped and stared at him, as she walked by. "Warum, hat jedermann schaut mich, auch wenn ich sage nichts.", then the sudden thought came into his head. Then, another gust came through, and he moved his head down. As he looked down he saw the cool white SS on his collar. Once the gust subsided he looked up again, to see Totenkopfverbände soldiers coming from the other direction. He quickly turned into the bar that was on his left. As he turned he walked into the door "Scheiße, verdammt Tür, es sollten offen sein." Erich then opened the door and walked into the billowing smoky room. He was stunned to see a few other soldiers at the bar. As, he scanned the room he saw two men sitting at a table. Erich smiled as he saw who was sitting at the table. A puff of smoke entered his lungs, as he started to walk to the table. Erich sat down, and smiled his own crooked smile. Erich looked straight into this mans eyes and said "hansy, wo haben Sie alle, die nighttime Wanderungen wir hatten. Waren Sie für nichts. Oh, hier ist eine was über Nacht Spaziergang wir ging in Italien. speichern unsere Commander's Name." A big grin formed on Erich's face after he gave the man time to think. Shortly after he said "Hallo, Hans, wie sie schon dann. Es ist großartig, wenn Sie noch einmal."


Translations

"Ah, ich hasse den kalten, Gott kann es nicht nur nicht geschehen."
"Ah, I hate the cold, god can't it just not happen."

"Warum, hat jedermann schaut mich, auch wenn ich sage nichts."
"Why, does everyone look at me, even if I don't say anything."

"Scheiße, verdammt Tür, es sollten offen sein."
"Shit, damn door, it should be open."

"hansy, wo haben Sie alle, die nighttime Wanderungen wir hatten. Waren Sie für nichts. Oh, hier ist eine was über Nacht Spaziergang wir ging in Italien. speichern unsere Commander's Name."
"Hansy, where have you been all those nighttime walks we had. Were they for nothing. Oh, here's one what about that nightime stroll we went on in Italy. Remember our commander's name."

"Hallo, Hans, wie sie schon dann. Es ist großartig, wenn Sie noch einmal."
"Hello, Hans, how have you been since then. It's great to see you again."

[laukkenan]

Vaalto was wondering around in his officer uniform, with his combat jacket on. He didn't think it cold enough to wear the entire winter get up. The winters in Finland were much worse than this. He smelled the air, and something he didn't expect came to him. The smell of smoke entered his nose. The addiction started to play with him. He pulled out his pack of cigarettes, and laid one in his mouth. The cold bit at his fingers as he pulled his hand out of his gloves. The pocket felt cool as he stuck his hand in to get his lighter. He inhaled the smoke, and puffed it out as a group of Totenkopfverbände men came up to him. They asked "Herr kapitänleutnant, könnten Sie uns eine Rauch, wir wirklich wollen." "Sie Männer sind betrunken, Get Out meiner Weg bevor ich sie alle Gericht-martialed." The soldiers walked away laughing. Vaalto turned around and saw one of them trip and take all of them to the ground. He grinned energetically at the sight of them fall.

He turned into the bar with his cigarette lit. When he came in he saw the bartender taking down a sign that read "Rauchen ist verboten" . Vaalto looked at the bartender and asked, "Es tut mir Leid Herr barmann, gibt es kein smoking hier?" The Bartender replied, "Ihre wurde No Smoking, bis die Schwimmschlamm, kam in HIER." At hearing this Vaalto quickly put out his cigarette. "Herr Barman setzen Zeichen zurück. Ich werde gehen und zu beenden." Anger was entering Vaalto when he heard what had happened. He calmed down, and walked over to the men who were carousing at the bar. "Sie Männer sind von der SS fallschirmjaeger. Get Together, und Kopf zurück zur Basis, sie Drunken Schweine. Nun, oder Sie alle werden berichtet, die Des, und legen die Zigaretten und gehorche dieser Mann regeln!" Vaalto was yelling at the soldiers who were causing an uproar.


Translations

“Herr kapitänleutnant, könnten Sie uns eine Rauch, wir wirklich wollen.”
“Mr. Lieutenant, could you give us a smoke, we really want one.”

“Sie Männer sind betrunken, Get Out meiner Weg bevor ich sie alle Gericht-martialed.”
“You men are drunk, get out of my way before I get you all court-martialed.”

“Rauchen ist verboten”
“NO SMOKING”

“Es tut mir Leid Herr barmann, gibt es kein smoking hier?”
“I'm sorry Mr. Bartender, is there no smoking here?”

“Ihre wurde No Smoking, bis die Schwimmschlamm, kam in HIER.”
“Their was no smoking, until those scum, came in here.”

“Herr Barman setzen Zeichen zurück. Ich werde gehen und zu beenden.”
“Mr. Barman put the sign back up. I'll go and put a stop to this.”

“Sie Männer sind von der SS fallschirmjaeger. Get Together, und Kopf zurück zur Basis, sie Drunken Schweine. Nun, oder Sie alle werden berichtet, die Des, und legen die Zigaretten und gehorche dieser Mann regeln!”
“You men are of the SS Fallschirmjaeger. Get together, and head back to base, you drunken pigs. NOW MOVE IT, or you all will be reported to the Oberführer, AND PUT OUT THOSE CIGARETTES AND OBEY THIS MAN'S RULES!”

[∬:Rolf Blauvelt]

Rolf had decided to eat a ham, egg, and cheese sandwich, to get the drunkeness away, and started telling a story about how he blew up a boat carrying 100 French troops that was owned by some guy named Lightoller when he was interrupted by a Scharfuhrer. "Whoa, Scharfuhrer. Es ist nichts los hier. Es gab ein Missverständnis mit dem Barkeeper, aber ich habe es unter Kontrolle. Warum sitzen Sie nicht mit uns und haben eine Stroh 80. Hier, ich werde dafür bezahlen." Rolf got another Stroh 80 and gave it to the Scharfuhrer. " Ich bin Oberscharführer Rolf Blauvelt. Ich kann mich nicht erinnern sehen Sie hier vor. Wie heißt du?"

Translations:

Whoa, Scharfuhrer. Es ist nichts los hier. Es gab ein Missverständnis mit dem Barkeeper, aber ich habe es unter Kontrolle. Warum sitzen Sie nicht mit uns
und haben eine Stroh 80. Hier, ich werde dafür bezahlen.
Whoa, Scharfuhrer. There's nothing going on here. There was a misunderstanding with the bartender, but I have it under control. Why don't you go back to your other friends and have a Stroh 80. Here, I'll pay for it.