Allen Kimball

[Allen Kimball]

Username: kimball
Character Name: Allen Chase Kimball
Rank: Private
What Army Will You Serve Beneath? : US(American)
Nationality: American
Character History:

Allen was born in Brooklyn, New York, but, his family quickly moved to Manhatten, for his fathers job as a construction worker.

Allen's father, was very old school, he thought the only way anyone could be a true man was to either be a "ditch digger" or serve in the armed forces. Witch, his father, Chase Kimball, did, He was a Staff Seargent, and served during the first world war. His father was sent back early, after being shot in the leg during a raid on a German trench. That did not stop Chase though, he is a very good at his job as a constructoin worker, and his limp does not slow him down.

Anyway, back to Allen, he really looked up to his father, so thats why he went above and beyond to make his father proud of him, Allen never came home with a grade below a C+ and was the star wide reciver on his football team. After he graduated from highschool Allen helped his father in the constructoin worker buisness. He made a good profit from his hard work and also kept himself in shape with the job.

1943, after the pearl harbour attack, Allen decides to make his father the most proudest he has ever made him and signed up to the US army. His father was proud, but nervous for Allen, because, its war, it would take anythings life and not care about the age, race, gender, his father knew, he seen it for himself. Allen was only 19 but, his father did not do much to change his mind.

Going threw basic training was easier for Allen, because he was already physicly fit. But still, it was a challange for him, it made him actully work for it. When he graduated from basic, he was one of the best in his class.

He was now ready to be shipped off to battle, he then learned he could be either shipped to Africa, or Sicilly. But to Allen it did not matter, he was ready for the war, and what ever it could throw at him...He hoped.

Writing Sample:

Private Allen Kimball awoke, to the sound of crumbling stone. Lying on his back inside a small africain residence, he softly touched his forehead. Noticing two things, one, he was missing his helmet, and two, he was bleeding. Allen Quickly sat up looking around, noticing he was knocked out for the battle of this small village, half of this house he was in came down on him. Finding his helmet, and his M1 Garand he stood up, putting on his helmet, and gripping the rifle close, he peaked out of the window, only two quickly duck down, he seen that the allies lost this one, Nazi troops were scouting the village, entering houses and picking off any survivors, Allen knew he was next. He seen a Nazi trying to fit threw the door of the crumbled out Allen was in, so Allen softly put his Garrand down, and grabbed one a peice of rubble of the house, and hid behind a crushed bed. When the Nazi managed to fit threw the door way, half blocked by rubble, he started to search, of course it did not take long, because half the house was gone. When the Nazi turned his attention to the bed, he aimed his Gewehr 41 at it, and inched closer. When the Axis soilder was close enough, he half expected an Amercian to jump out, but when Allen did, he was holding the heavy piece of rubble above his head and Allen shouted "Surprise!" and brought down the rubble on the Nazi's face, nearly instantly killing him. Allen then went back to his Garand and slung it over his shoulder. he again peeked out the window, this time, there was a clear shot out of the village. He quickly jumped out the window and made a quick sprint out of the village. He managed to escape. But he feels like he was spotted.

A few minutes later, he was a good foot ball field away from the village, but he was not satisifed, he was still moving fast. He again had the feeling some one was watching him, he stummbled over a dune, and went prone when he was on the other side. he poked his head over the top to see if there was anyone, but there was no one there. Made him angry about that paranoia.

A half an hour later, when he was a mile away from the village, he realized he was lost out in the desert. "Crap..." he said, the heat getting to him, he fell over, dehidrated, he could not carry himself any further, he layed in the sand for a good five minutes, before a shadow casted over him. "Crap..." He said again thinking that it was Nazi patrol who finally caught up with him, when he looked up he seen a native girl, she only looked about 7 years old, she kicked his ribs and Allen shouted "Ow! What the hell?!" the girl ignored him and shouted in the oppisite direction in a launguage Allen did not know. Allen sat up, but only to find a Machette in his face, he jumped back, and seen an older native male, who said "Who you?" Allen noticed that this man must not know english to well by his grammer. Allen pointed to the patch above his left shirt pocket, that said U.S. Army. The native studied him for a moment then grabbed Allens arm, keeping the Machette to his neck, dragged him back to another Village, only over the next dune. When they arrived Allen seen there was a group of Men in the US Army uniform, the Native threw Allen forward to the group and asked "You know?"
A Seargent approched, Allen reconized him, he was a Seargent of the squad who assisted Allens, before Allen got seperated, the Seargents name was Walter Hidesmen, Hidesment replied "Yeah we do, now go on, see if you can find anyone else"
The Native left, and Allen was confused and asked "Why arnt you looking for any survivors?"
Hidesmen replied and patted Allens shoulder "Because, if we were out there, we would be shot on site. Now dont worry, evac will be here in 20 minutes, go rest up" He guestured to one of the huts, with an Americain star on it. Allen was to tired and thirsty to ask what happend. He went into the hut, seeing there was a small bowl, full of water, he studied it for a moment, but seen it was mostly clean, he took a few drinks, washed his face, then layed down on some pillows and matting, and fell asleep with in a few minutes.

Approved/Denied?: Approved
Staff Notes:

Approved, Private!

I was impressed with the length and some of the depth you put into your scenario. But I also managed to notice quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes but no worries, just keep a lookout for them and you should be fine.

-Mike!